I honestly don’t know where this painting came from. It’s almost like another artist did it. There is a struggle going on inside of my artistic self.
I had a very hard time with this one. I’ve only been painting for two years. I used to do textile art.
Painting is a real adventure for me. It has been a journey of some amazing discoveries, but also some very difficult struggles.
In art school, I took an oil painting class, and the resulting paintings were not good. The professor advised me that painting definitely would not be my forte. I was young and believed him. I moved into the textile department and left all thought of painting behind.
I have to say that those comments significantly affected my art. I always had this self-doubt and nagging feeling I wasn’t really an artist because I couldn’t paint.
Well, it turns out that was a bunch of BS.
I have now shown myself that not only can I paint, but I can paint realistically. I can paint any damn way I want to.
I now realize that this professor should have taught me how to paint. That is what he was being paid to do. I took that class during summer quarter. I think the professor just wasn’t into teaching that quarter. All he did was send us outside to paint. I don’t recall any formal lessons.
I am now taking on-line classes and learning how to paint. And, guess what? I can paint.
I took my first painting class from Flora Bowley. Flora has a very specific way of painting that I love. Lately, I have tried to have my paintings look more like how Flora taught. Not to copy Flora, there are way too many women doing that already. But to use Flora’s techniques. I think doing this would make for a better painting.
In my last three or so paintings, I felt that I was finally getting to where I wanted to be. But this painting just wouldn’t gel for me. It would not go in the direction I was trying to lead it.
I do iterative saves of my paintings as I go along. I ended up with over 50 saves of this piece and 45 layers.
In looking back at what I did, I now see that several times I had a fairly decent painting. Then, this voice would go off in my head, and I would start erasing (erasing is become both a blessing and an enemy lately).
Then I would redo the painting and end up making the same mistakes over and over and over.
I think I could have stopped at iterative save 10 and had a good painting.
I was thinking today that this feels almost like one part of me is going one way with my painting and yet, inside me, is another artist trying to come out. I just don’t really know. I never had these kind of problems with my textiles.
I think what I’m going through is probably what many other artists experience as they learn to paint.
I decided to sign up for Tracy Verdugo’s Paint Mojo ecourse. I think I could use some of her mojo. She recently published a book and has taught many workshops. I love her art.
I’m feeling very frustrated about painting at the moment. But, as all things do, this too shall pass.