Tag: God

Mystery

Mystern

Mystery

My husband retired last July, and I got behind in blogging because I used to do my blogging and reading of blogs during lunch.  Now, I eat lunch with him. I’m trying to get caught up on reading other’s blogs and writing my own.

Overall, I’m glad that Warren is retired and is spending more time with me.  We have been together since 1970.  We moved in together that year.  When we were younger, and sometimes not employed, we always had a blast together.  I had pictured the same thing would be true now that we are no longer employed and have all day free to play.

The only thing I did not consider is that I am sick, and can’t go out and play anytime I want to.  Despite that, I am still enjoying having Warren in my life all day, every day.

This winter was very hard for me.  I had a flare of some kind, and was sick from New Years Eve until recently.  I am feeling on the upswing now.  But, it was a real scare.  I went back to spending days where I could do nothing but lay in bed, under the covers and be very sick.  I had a lot of pain breakthroughs that were very severe.  On those days, old tapes would start to play in my head.  I would start to think that I was going to spend all day, every day back in bed and be able to do nothing.

That is when positive thinking came back to save me.  I got myself calmed down and thought through the process logically.  I would admit that yes, I’m sick today.  But the recent pattern has been that I will be sick one day and then better the next.  Usually within two days, I’m up, dressed and going out to lunch with Warren.  I affirmed these things.  I prayed for help and guidance.  I practiced positive thinking.  I forced myself to think in a positive way.

As usual, it worked.  The pain eventually subsided and is under control again with morphine.  I have more energy and am feeling better just in time for summer.

Oh No You Don’t

Oh No You Don't

Oh No You Don’t

This painting is one I did a couple of months ago.  Somehow it didn’t get posted yet.

It is done with oil brushes and liquid inks and some pencils were added.  I did this piece in Painter 2015.

It was a very hard piece to bring to a conclusion.  I really liked parts of it, but there were areas, as it developed, that drove me nuts.  When I did this, I was focusing, as usual on lights and darks.  Values and good contrast are big parts of a good painting.

In Painter, it is possible to add a layer to the piece I’m working on, then I fill the layer with black and choose the composite method colorize.  When that layer is open, it turns the painting into grey scale.  It is then easy to see whether the painting has enough values going on.

I ended up turning this picture on its side several times before deciding that it would go this way.  That is something I learned in my first painting class from Flora Bowley.

It really comes in handy when working on an abstract.

I have had a very hard time this year with my health.  I have had a lot of break-through pain.  Something that hasn’t happened in over a year.  That, along with GOK (God Only Knows) has caused me to have to spend more time in bed and paint less this year.  I get very despondent on days when I feel sick.  It feels like I’ve stepped backwards and will never go forward again.

I think this is all part of the healing process from lyme disease.  A good friend and I have discussed this years’ setbacks.  I’ve concluded, with her help, that just maybe the bad days seem a lot worse because the good days are so much better.  I certainly hope so.

I try to continue to stay positive no matter what my health is doing.  I am just very grateful to be able to do art again.

 

This is Blog 100

Japanese Inks

Japanese Inks

I’m so excited.  This is my 100th blog.  I never realized what I was getting into when I started blogging.

I thought I would be the lone blogger picking up a follower here or there.  Then, I found Word Press.  Word Press makes the blogging experience very special.

First, they make it relatively easy to set up your blog with a theme of your choice.  Second, whenever I’ve been stuck, people have been there to help me.

The community of Word Press bloggers blows me away.  Word Press works at bringing us together to share our love of blogging.  I feel like I belong to a special community that is incredibly supportive.

A huge thank you to all the people who follow me.  I never dreamed I would have actual, real followers who were interested in my art AND my health.  You are all special people to me.

As to my health, well, it is what it is.  I’m feeling better the last few days than I have all year.  I continue to be returned to a life.  For that I am grateful.

As to the art in this blog, well this is something different for me.

As you may know, I take classes at the Digital Art Academy (DAA).It was founded by Karen Bonaker, a fabulous artist.  Check out her blog here.  We learn art while using the application Painter.

Starting Saturday, I am taking Japanese Inks from Karen at DAA.

This is a type of art I have studiously ignored all my life.  I have had no interest in it at all.

So, why not broaden my horizon is what I figured.  I’m totally intimidated, of course.  Something new. There is a small part of me saying “you’ll never be able to do this.”  But, I’m happy to report there is a larger part saying “yes, I can!”  This is a huge change for me.  Mrs. Negative had her way with me for a long time.  But I have practiced being positive and loving myself and my art.  I put Mrs. Negative Voice on a time out recently.  I refuse to engage with her on any level.

Interestingly, I am finding that she is becoming less and less by my not engaging and fighting with her.  When she pops up, I lovingly as possible put her on a time out.  Of course, she will try to come back.  I just gently remind her of the time out.

Staying Positive Works — Strong Spirit

Strong Spirit

Strong Spirit

This painting was done in Painter, using oils, liquid inks and pencils.  I am using it because it is entitled Strong Spirit.  That is what I have.

I started this blog to write about fibromyalgia and lyme disease.  My intention was to write how my belief in a God of my understanding, coupled with affirmations, gratitude and positive thought had allowed me to find a peaceful, fulfilling life in spite of these chronic illnesses.

Then, practicing those things led me back to being able to do art, and art has pretty much been the focus of this blog.

Today, I want to write about positive thinking.

I came across the idea of having God in my life and thinking positive about 30 years ago.  I began reading a lot of varied books on many religions.  I put together an idea of what God is for me, personally.  I believe there is something that holds us all together.  I believe that we are all connected in some way.  I believe that when I, or someone else, does something negative or harmful, it affects us all.

I believe in taking personal responsibility for myself and what I can change.  As I read and researched, I concluded that the only thing in this world that is possible for me to change is me.  I can’t change you.  I can, however, change how I react to you.

This was working fine, and life was going along real sweet.  I was a textile/mixed media artist.  My work was starting to sell.  I was having shows in galleries.  I had been in a group show at a very prestigious museum here in Seattle.  I won awards for my art.  Life looked good.  Positive thinking and a belief in a God of my understanding was working.

Oops, I got sick.  I didn’t just get sick, I got completely disabled and unable to do anything but lay in bed and wonder when I was going to die.  Doctors said I was crazy.  No one, absolutely no one would help me.

Friends and family walked away.  As they left, they said “Screw, you.  You’re a little liar, you’re not sick, just crazy.”

OK.  I got mad.  I got angry, I got resentful, hateful, mean-spirited, the whole thing.  I threatened to divorce my husband of over 30 years.  I was one sick, miserable person.

Where had it all gone?  What was happening?  One day I woke up, and could stand myself no longer.  I vaguely recalled what I had practiced just before I became sick.  I was very dubious.  I figured, this stuff works when things go well, God is there when I’m happy.  But what happens when the pedal hits the metal?  It’s all gone.

Hmm.  Perhaps I had missed something.  “OK”, I said, find something to be positive about.  What?  I can’t remember what I found, but I found one small thing.  Like breathing or something.  I practiced being grateful.  I said affirmations.  I worked at it.  I was not convinced, but I went on with the teeny, tiny bit of faith I had left.

It worked.  Just as negative things build and grow larger and become overwhelming, so do positive things.  It built up.  I found more things to be positive about.

Don’t get me wrong, it was slow going.

I’m so Excited

Pink Fish

Pink Fish

In 2012, through an odd series of “coincidences”,  I took a painting class from Flora Bowley.

A very good friend at that time, tricked me into signing up for Flora’s eclass.  I was very sick with fibro, lyme and CFS.  I had been in bed for over 20 years.

I was kind of doing art.  But I was just too sick to do much.  Making a phone call overwhelmed me.  Trying to be creative was impossible.

Then, I discovered the computer app I now use, Painter.  At that same exact time, Flora came into my life with her philosophy of life and art.  I had a positive outlook on life, but it had never occurred to me to apply that to my art.  Duh!

Flora has shared stories of her students  in her blog.  This week, she chose my story.

Click here to read the blog.  While you’re there, check out her fantastic art and be sure to check out her classes.  Be sure to click on “Shop” at the top.  She has fantastic products made from her art for sale.  Flora’s art or her classes make fabulous Christmas gifts.

The Blog Hop

Wonderland

Wonderland

I’m so excited.  About two weeks ago, I discovered that art bloggers were doing blog hops.  Blog Hops are where one artist blogs about his/her art, and then asks three other artists to talk about their art in their blogs.

I really wanted to be asked to do one.  Then, last week, Yanik Falardeau asked me to participate in an art blog hop. Wow!  Thank you, God and Yanik.  Check out Yanik’s fabulous blog here

The lyme has flared back up.  Apparently general anesthesia, which I recently had, can cause this to happen.  I had been feeling very despondent about this, because I am very sick again.  So this has come at a really good time for me.

There are four questions I am to answer as part of this blog hop.

The first question is:  What are you working on at the present time?

I have just finished this painting, called Wonderland.

I took my first painting class from Flora Bowley in September, 2012.  I have been painting ever since.  As most of you know, I paint digitally.

Since I took Flora’s class, I have been working very hard to get my paintings to look like what I see in my mind.

I have been pouring over other people’s work looking for help and inspiration.  I look at work by Flora, students of Flora’s, Kandinsky, Van Gogh, Matisse, Klee and many others. I want to paint as the big kids do.

I made progress and I was starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel in Peace at Last (posted here) and another painting.  But they were still not quite what I was trying to get.  There was just not enough going on in the paintings.

With this painting, I feel like I finally started to get what I wanted.  I finally got a painting to do what is in my head.  This is a huge break-through piece for me.  To me, Wonderland is freer and has depth.

I know I have a long ways to go, but I’m very encouraged.  I’m starting to really have a lot of fun painting.

The second question is:  How does my work differ from others in this genre?

Flora Bowley calls her students the Bloomers.  I really like the way Flora and many of her students paint.  However, in many of the student paintings, there is a tendency to pretty much copy almost exactly what Flora does.  People use the same exact symbols and color combinations she uses.

I decided that one thing I don’t want to do is have someone look at my work and say, “Oh, yeah, she took Flora’s Bloom True class.”  I want my work to reflect the unique creative person I am.

The next question is: Why do you create what you do?

I have FM/CFS/lyme and spend about 75% of my time in bed.  I had been a textile artist prior to becoming ill in 1994.  Then, I no longer was well enough to do textiles.  I thought I could no longer do what my soul wanted to do.  Then, I found out I could paint on the computer in bed with a Wacom tablet.  Being able to paint again and be creative has filled a hole in my soul.

I am driven to create.  It is like I don’t have a choice.  For some reason, God wants me painting.  I hope that it brings joy to others.

The last question is How does your creative process work?

While I work on a painting, I stay focused on that painting.  I work only on it.

When I paint, it takes me away to a very special place.  When I can find that place, then I can tap into what makes me creative and makes me feel very good.

I work in layers.  I start out with just throwing paint, pastels, whatever on the canvas.  I build up the layers of paint and marks, to hopefully give the end painting a lot of interest. This is the part I have been struggling with so much.  I think I touched it in this painting.

I have chosen three other artists I admire to carry on blogging about their art.  I hope you will check out their pages.

They are,

Karen Bonaker at Karen Bonaker Art;

Mary at Oil Pastels By Mary;

Mo Davies, at The Crazy Crone’s Arty Farty Studio

All three of these women are wonderfully creative artists.

 

Some Thoughts

Pink Fish

Pink Fish

I recently met a new friend on Facebook.  Her name is Yanik Falardeau.  You can see her art Facebook page, here.  She and I seem to have connected on a spiritual level.  We seem to share many of the same beliefs.

She recently posted this quote from Harvey Fierstein, an American playwright and actor.

I love this quote, it sums up how I feel.

I do believe we are all connected;

I do believe in positive energy;

I do believe in the power of prayer;

I do believe in putting good out into the world.  And I believe in taking care of each other.

In physics there is an explanation for how matter is all connected together.  Spiritually, I have always believed that we are all connected.  I believe that when one of us throws a pebble in the water, it can turn into a tidal wave in someone else’s life.  We can do this either by an action or our words.

That is why I believe very strongly in staying positive, no matter what.  It can be a hard thing to do, stay positive.  I used to be a very negative person.  But since my early 30’s, I have been practicing being positive.  I am very careful about the words I use.  I watch closely how I say things.  I don’t want to contribute negative or hurt in any way out in the world or in my own life.

I really believe that what we say and how we act, is what will show up in our lives.  After practicing being positive for over 30 years, I can assure you that it works.  I’ve had huge challenges in my life because of fibromyalgia, but I’ve managed to come out the other side of these challenges.  My life is not what I dreamed, but I do believe it is a wonderful life that

To sum up, I believe exactly what Harvey said above.  That there is a God, that this God connects us all together, and that what I do with my connection to you, can have an affect whether I intend this affect or not.

The art is a fish from one of my Sea Life paintings.

 

 

 

 

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