Category: God

art, God, pain, show up

No Dairy for Kerry

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22-A

22-A

I recently went to see a new internist.  With all my negative experiences over the years with doctors, I expected only the worst.  My plan was to just get anyone as a new internist, as the present one was in his 70’s and his wait times were hideous, like more than two hours.

I arrived on time for the appointment, and the doctor was running on time.  That was good after the last guy.

She took 40 minutes for my first appointment.  She got a complete history of all the various things that are wrong with me.  She advised that since I have fibromyalgia, my body was inflamed.  Yeah, OK, I know that.  Then she says, “therefore, you shouldn’t eat dairy, as it further inflames the body.”  OMG.  A doctor discussing health and nutrition.  That’s an oxymoron.  Doctors usually know nothing about nutrition.

She went on to say that I should change my diet to vegan or modified vegan, that is allowing some chicken and fish, depending on where they come from.

She further told me to watch a movie called Forks Over Knives.  I highly recommend this movie.  It gives the scientific reasons why one should consider a vegan diet.  Basically the science shows that diets high in animal protein cause cancer.

Read more →

art, God, honesty

Honesty

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Abstract-09-2o

Abstract-09-2o

I don’t know if anyone has noticed, but I’ve used Shakespeare quotes lately on my home page.  The quotes from Shakespeare have become such a part of our world, that we often don’t know that many common-sense sayings are from him.

His common sense has guided us since the 1600’s.

Today, I used a quote on honesty.  Look to the right, and you’ll see it.  No legacy is so rich as honesty.  When I chose this quote today, I thought to myself, yes, this is now about me.  Part of my legacy is that I am honest.

That wasn’t always the case.  I was an only child.  Not having other children, I think, caused my parents to be unrealistic about what they could expect.  They tended to be very strict and have unrealistic expectations.

This, in turn, caused me to lie to them about what I did and where I went.  Lying as a teenager, became a way of life for me.  It started me on a path, where dishonesty, in my opinion, was acceptable.  That acceptance of lies led me to further dishonest in all areas of my life.

About 1983, I came to realize that this was not an acceptable way to live.  I made a decision that if I wanted good things in my life, I needed to clean up my life.  I needed to be as honest as I possibly could be.  It was hard at first.  Always telling the truth.  There were always those handy excuses like, well, those corporations screw people over all the time, everyone cheats on their taxes, who will ever know.

Who will ever know?  That’s a big one.  I will know. The God I believe in will know.  It will be my karma to have dishonesty in my life. I believe that what I put out there is what will be returned to me.  I don’t want dishonesty in any form in my life.

I believe that dishonesty poisons us spiritually, emotionally and physically.  It interferes with me receiving the good that God has for me.

I didn’t turn into an honest person overnight.  Whenever I have changed a behavior, I find that it takes time.  It is the two steps forward and three steps back that applies to me.  But I’ve done it.  It is now over 30 years since I made a decision to be an honest person, and I am.

I’m still not perfect at it, but I keep working at it.  I still don’t know what to do about those situations where a friend has a new dress that looks ugly, and she loves it.  I still try to be positive about the dress.  I try to say, things like, “wow, you really got one!” and smile a lot.  That is still cheating and not telling the truth.  I make sure not to cut those corners like that on the big issues.

I have to say that I am proud of myself for being an honest person, and the feeling I get from that is fabulous.

The art used in this blog is a page of seamless tiles made from one of my abstracts.  These tiles are what I was using to paint with my paintings in two previous blogs.  I’m Painting With My Paintings and More Paintings With My Paintings.

art, digital art, God, Painter, paintings

Several Pieces Make the Hole

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Several Pieces Make the Hole

Several Pieces Make the Hole

This is it.  I’m naming my paintings and other pieces.  I’ve never been able to think of a name for my work.

People come up with these great names, peaceful, meditation, loving, etc.  I just haven’t been able to do it.  I sit and stare at my work.  What’s your name, damn you?  Nothing.  So there was the Untitled series.  Then the Abstract series.

Well, it’s a new day.  I’m going to do my best to give my works names.  They deserve it.

The name of this one surprised me.  I have a weird sense of humor.  Who knew it would show up when naming my art.  But I like it.

So, Several Pieces Make the Hole it is.

The way I approach issues like this is to give it my best effort.  I’m not saying I’ll always name my paintings, but this is a start.  I learned long ago, not to totally commit 150% to something.  Rather, I prefer to show up, do my best and turn the outcome over to God.  He does such a good job.

art, God, love, pain

By the Skin of My Teeth

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Play-02a

Play-02a

I haven’t yet seen a subject in the Daily Prompt that inspired me.  But today’s did.

A quick aside, I’m not in pain today, Yeah!

When I was about 16, an incident occurred where I could have been murdered.

What was I doing at that age in such circumstances?

My friend, Jill, and I had gone out for our usual Friday or Saturday night fun, which, for us, always involved drinking.  Somehow we had connected with an older woman.  She had been having us to her apartment for drinks, and we were more than happy to visit her.

This particular night, her boyfriend came by.  At first, I didn’t pay him much attention.

It turns out he was drunk, and an extremely unreasonable person.

He became jealous of my friend and I being at this woman’s house.  Initially, I just thought, what an idiot.

Then he got out his gun.  OMG.

He held it to my head and threatened to kill me.  I don’t quite recall his reasoning for this, but he was determined.

All I can recall is the woman begging and pleading with him to not shoot me.

Obviously, he changed his mind.  But what I really recall, is that it took a really long time to change his mind.

What blows my mind about this incident is that it didn’t really affect either me or my friend.  I don’t recall either of us talking about what had happened.  Why we weren’t scared to death is beyond me now.

In fact, it was not until I was in my late 20’s that I even thought about this incident again.

This scares me a lot.  When I was younger, I thought I was so cool and together.  I had such intolerance for just about everybody and everything unless it fit into my box of coolness.

Just exactly how cool is a person who gets into a situation where a loaded gun is pointed at her head by a drunk, crazy man?

I continued down this particular road of beliefs into my 30’s.  Then I got hit by a bolt of lightning and woke up.

I came to understand how much broader life could be, and know that there was a God.  There had to be.  Who had looked out for me all those years while I ran around like a crazy person?

I’m so grateful that I was able to realize who I am and that love is what is important in life, not who or what a person is.

I find that putting love first, will always lead me in the right direction.  Of course, this is not easy, and I often back step.  But I believe my path of life, and it looks like many other experience this, is two steps backwards for every three steps forward.

Writing about this makes me really grateful to be alive.

So, Love to all of you this holiday season.

art, God

A Wonderful Group That Helped Me

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Untitled-03a

I was floundering trying to figure out how to live some kind of a life with FM.  I had spent most of my time in bed, and basically had no life.

One day while on the Internet, I came across a group called CFIDS & Fibromyalgia Self-Help.

This was truly an example of being led to help by God.  I never was much of a surfer on the Internet.  I was too sick.  But I know God led me to these people.

They teach small, on-line classes showing how to live a life with FM, CFS, etc.

They teach a concept of pacing yourself.  By pacing, I learned that I don’t go out and overdo and then crash for several weeks.  I learned to use what they refer to as an “energy envelope.”  Each day, I get up and decide, as best I can, how much energy I have in my envelope.  I then can figure out how much I energy I can spend on what I want to do that day.

If I’m able to be up and around, then I pace during the time I’m up out of bed.  I take lots of rests.  I do things in small bits of time.  Do something for 20 or 30 minutes, then rest.  If I recover, then do another 20 or 30 minutes.  By taking rests, I have found that I’m able to extend the amount of time I can stay out of the house.

I’ve also learned that I have limits.  Usually, I can easily do two hours out of the house.  But four hours is my absolute limit.

By pacing and resting, I have managed to put together a bit of a life.  I am so grateful for this group.

FM is so hard to live with.  No one really understands how sick I am.  Sometimes, not even my husband seems to understand.  (But, he is incredibly supportive most of the time.)  But the group of people I met in this class and now in the alumni group (which is free), I have met a wonderful, supportive and informative group of people who really know what I experience.

If you are feeling stuck and like your life is out of control, you may want to check this group out.  They also have a wonderful library of resources.

Click here to find them.

art, awards, God

The Inner Peace Award

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I Got the Blues

I Got the Blues

I have been awarded the Inner Peace Award by Ewa at Fibromyalgia and Self Disorders.

This really means a lot to me.

The rules of this award are to say why you choose to accept it, and then pass it on to others.

Before I got sick, I had started a journey to find inner peace.  I had done a lot of reading and soul-searching.

Then, fibromyalgia.  No inner peace there.

I spent so many years distraught, crying, screaming and generally just miserable.

Then, slowly, I began to pick myself up.  I began to piece things back together.

Then I got treatment for Lyme disease.  I had gone 15 years flat on my back in bed with the Lyme undiagnosed.  Finally, treatment was started and then things began to come together.

I was able to go back where I had been in my mid-30’s and start to find that inner peace I wanted so much.

That is why I started to blog.  I wanted to share with others how I had travelled the path of grief over losing my life and had somehow come out the other side.

Now, I am being really challenged.  My inner peace and calm are being disrupted.

I have been on the same dose of pain medication since 1993.  I had occasional pain breakthroughs, which were treated with additional pain medication.  They never lasted longer than a few days.  That I could handle.

Sometime in late summer, I started having pain episodes.  I tried to ignore them.  But they became worse and worse.  Now they have turned into constant pain.

My inner peace is really being challenged.

In addition, I am seeing a new provider for pain medication.  This woman seems more interested in trying to catch me making her for drugs than she does trying to take care of the pain I have.  It is extremely upsetting and stressful.

The stress makes the fibromyalgia worse, which makes the pain worse, which . . .  You get the idea.

But I’ve learned some things over the years.

I believe that God will take care of me.  I may end up in  lot of pain, but I know he will lead me to be able to handle it.

This current person who is prescribing medication may only be a stopping point on the road I’m on.  I believe that there is a peaceful ending to this current side trip.

I so want back the peace and pain-free life I had for so many years.  But maybe that is not to be.  But I want to live up to this award of Inner Peace.

It came at a time when I really needed it, and it means so much.

Thank you, Ewa.  You are truly one of God’s angels today.

I am very new to blogging.  So I don’t know a lot of other bloggers.  However, I would like to pass this award on to some bloggers who have been helpful to me in my journey to find and keep inner peace.

They are:

Dawn Hosking

Jenn at My Fibrotastic Life

Katarina at Painfully Aware

Susan at Owls & Orchids

I have a good friend, Leigh, who is very supportive of my blog, but doesn’t have a blog, yet.  I want to add her name in here also.

art, God

Here’s to Heather

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Abstract 13 by Kerry C. Mitchell

Abstract 13

I’ve written a bit about how God works in my life. 

Basically, I believe there is an energy out there that I can become part of.  When I am part of this energy, that I believe is God, things go amazingly well in my life.

I believe that what most people call coincidence are actually miracles.  Some major and some minor.  But miracles just the same.

What I notice is that just when I need help, it comes. 

When blogs started several years ago, I wanted one.  But I was way too sick to look into blogging.  But now, my dream has come true and I’m blogging. 

When I decided to blog, I had no idea what to do.  Since I had been unable to read for so long due to serious brain fog, I hadn’t been following blogs or seen what people were doing with them. 

First step, I got on the internet and started reading some blogs. 

I decided Word Press was the way to go. 

Next thing I did was check out a whole ton of videos on Word Press.org.  OK, laugh here.  I wasted hours of time learning how to customize a Word Press.org blog.  I almost gave up in tears. 

Then suddenly, I noticed there were two Word Press sites. 

Then somehow, I’m not sure how, I found this fabulous blog by Heather D. Roberts.  I was amazed.  Here was a young 20-something woman who was a modern-day Renaissance Woman.  Truly.  She writes, all the time, about all kinds of things.  She paints, writes poetry and plays in a band.  In addition, she’s got a passion for science.  She’s busy going to school and getting her education.  Not only all that, she is a feminist. 

In the 1970’s I was a founding member of two different Women’s Liberation groups.  We were the forefront of the Women’s Liberation Movement.  I thought all the feminists had disappeared. 

I commented on Heather’s blog.  Well, one thing led to another.  We have been emailing constantly for the last few months.

What’s so wonderful about this is that God dropped Heather into my life just when I needed her. 

I was so intimidated about blogging.  Heather has been a great support to help me get up and blogging.  She has helped me out tremendously with my various technical questions.  What a great find. 

I not only got someone to help me out in a time of need, but I found a new friend and very talented young woman.

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