I Got the Blues
I have been awarded the Inner Peace Award by Ewa at Fibromyalgia and Self Disorders.
This really means a lot to me.
The rules of this award are to say why you choose to accept it, and then pass it on to others.
Before I got sick, I had started a journey to find inner peace. I had done a lot of reading and soul-searching.
Then, fibromyalgia. No inner peace there.
I spent so many years distraught, crying, screaming and generally just miserable.
Then, slowly, I began to pick myself up. I began to piece things back together.
Then I got treatment for Lyme disease. I had gone 15 years flat on my back in bed with the Lyme undiagnosed. Finally, treatment was started and then things began to come together.
I was able to go back where I had been in my mid-30’s and start to find that inner peace I wanted so much.
That is why I started to blog. I wanted to share with others how I had travelled the path of grief over losing my life and had somehow come out the other side.
Now, I am being really challenged. My inner peace and calm are being disrupted.
I have been on the same dose of pain medication since 1993. I had occasional pain breakthroughs, which were treated with additional pain medication. They never lasted longer than a few days. That I could handle.
Sometime in late summer, I started having pain episodes. I tried to ignore them. But they became worse and worse. Now they have turned into constant pain.
My inner peace is really being challenged.
In addition, I am seeing a new provider for pain medication. This woman seems more interested in trying to catch me making her for drugs than she does trying to take care of the pain I have. It is extremely upsetting and stressful.
The stress makes the fibromyalgia worse, which makes the pain worse, which . . . You get the idea.
But I’ve learned some things over the years.
I believe that God will take care of me. I may end up in lot of pain, but I know he will lead me to be able to handle it.
This current person who is prescribing medication may only be a stopping point on the road I’m on. I believe that there is a peaceful ending to this current side trip.
I so want back the peace and pain-free life I had for so many years. But maybe that is not to be. But I want to live up to this award of Inner Peace.
It came at a time when I really needed it, and it means so much.
Thank you, Ewa. You are truly one of God’s angels today.
I am very new to blogging. So I don’t know a lot of other bloggers. However, I would like to pass this award on to some bloggers who have been helpful to me in my journey to find and keep inner peace.
Jenn at My Fibrotastic Life
Katarina at Painfully Aware
Susan at Owls & Orchids
I have a good friend, Leigh, who is very supportive of my blog, but doesn’t have a blog, yet. I want to add her name in here also.