The Inner Peace Award

I have been awarded the Inner Peace Award by Ewa at Fibromyalgia and Self Disorders.

This really means a lot to me.

The rules of this award are to say why you choose to accept it, and then pass it on to others.

Before I got sick, I had started a journey to find inner peace.  I had done a lot of reading and soul-searching.

Then, fibromyalgia.  No inner peace there.

I spent so many years distraught, crying, screaming and generally just miserable.

Then, slowly, I began to pick myself up.  I began to piece things back together.

Then I got treatment for Lyme disease.  I had gone 15 years flat on my back in bed with the Lyme undiagnosed.  Finally, treatment was started and then things began to come together.

I was able to go back where I had been in my mid-30’s and start to find that inner peace I wanted so much.

That is why I started to blog.  I wanted to share with others how I had travelled the path of grief over losing my life and had somehow come out the other side.

Now, I am being really challenged.  My inner peace and calm are being disrupted.

I have been on the same dose of pain medication since 1993.  I had occasional pain breakthroughs, which were treated with additional pain medication.  They never lasted longer than a few days.  That I could handle.

Sometime in late summer, I started having pain episodes.  I tried to ignore them.  But they became worse and worse.  Now they have turned into constant pain.

My inner peace is really being challenged.

In addition, I am seeing a new provider for pain medication.  This woman seems more interested in trying to catch me making her for drugs than she does trying to take care of the pain I have.  It is extremely upsetting and stressful.

The stress makes the fibromyalgia worse, which makes the pain worse, which . . .  You get the idea.

But I’ve learned some things over the years.

I believe that God will take care of me.  I may end up in  lot of pain, but I know he will lead me to be able to handle it.

This current person who is prescribing medication may only be a stopping point on the road I’m on.  I believe that there is a peaceful ending to this current side trip.

I so want back the peace and pain-free life I had for so many years.  But maybe that is not to be.  But I want to live up to this award of Inner Peace.

It came at a time when I really needed it, and it means so much.

Thank you, Ewa.  You are truly one of God’s angels today.

I am very new to blogging.  So I don’t know a lot of other bloggers.  However, I would like to pass this award on to some bloggers who have been helpful to me in my journey to find and keep inner peace.

They are:

Dawn Hosking

Jenn at My Fibrotastic Life

Katarina at Painfully Aware

Susan at Owls & Orchids

I have a good friend, Leigh, who is very supportive of my blog, but doesn’t have a blog, yet.  I want to add her name in here also.