God and Honesty

In my last blog, I said I would write about how changing my life got me into a positive flow of energy that I call God. 

My coming to believe in God happened on one night.  Usually with  most people, it is a slow awakening process to come to understand God. 

I believe  there is an energy flow out there that we are all a part of.  We can either choose to take part in it or go against it.  It is just like a river; go with the flow or fight a constant battle upstream. 

So what did I find that puts me in this flow, that brings me happiness and peace? 

One area that needed immediate attention was lying, cheating and stealing.  This did not appeal to me at all.  I thought I benefitted from all the dishonesty. 

I told lies.  I stole things.  I cheated.  I thought this was the easy way.  My rationalizations included everybody does it, it won’t hurt anyone, it’s a big corporation, etc.  Those reasons are not true.  Not everyone lies, cheats or takes what is not theirs. 

I quit. 

Not overnight. 

It has been a slow process of understanding exactly what is lying, cheating and stealing.  There are so many levels to these actions.  They are subtle. 

I took a long, hard look at my negative actions.  I realized that lying, stealing and cheating were harming me.  It was keeping me outside of the good that is there for me.  I realized that when I act negatively, I am not in the flow of good.  Therefore, good cannot come to me. 

Learning to be honest, not steal and not cheat is hard.  It is not something that came to me overnight.  It has been a long learning process.  In fact, I’m still learning.  Lying, cheating and stealing had become so ingrained in me, that I had to learn to be constantly alert to what and how I’m thinking and acting. 

I found that when I stole, cheated or lied, I had a lot of worry about being caught.  I decided why not quit all this and have some peace and quiet?  The benefits are awesome, more than I could have realized. 

So what about white lies?  You know, the little ones.  I came to realize a lie is a lie is a lie. 

I’m an artist and know other artists.  When they show me their work, and I don’t like it, I get really confused.  There is what is known as the socially acceptable lie.  That consists of me not wanting to hurt someone.  But I don’t want to lie, it hurts me. 

So what I do is do my best to sound enthusiastic and find something in the piece that I like.  It is hard to do and takes a lot of practice, but it can be done.  Maybe I’m still not being honest, this is just where I am now. 

I recently had an experience where I lied and didn’t realize it. 

I have a friend in Canada who wanted a digital pad to draw with on the computer.  I was buying a new one.  Even though we are friends, I thought he wouldn’t let me give him my old one.  Please note here, I didn’t try to give it to him.  Hmmm. 

So I went on Amazon and eBay and priced my old drawing pad.  I offered it to him below what was being charged.  See what a great person I am?  Then, to help him out, when I mailed it, I put the value at $300, rather than $150 which he paid. 

Why would I do this, it’s a lie?  Well, my justification was to value it at the price of a new tablet.  Then if it got lost, my good friend could get a brand new tablet.  But I didn’t stop and think that this was dishonest.  It was an instance of me thinking it wouldn’t really hurt anybody. 

When it arrived in Canada there was a charge of $97.00.  What’s going on?  Well, because I valued the tablet so high, he had to pay duty on it.  I couldn’t believe it.  I had lied. 

What to do?  Well, when faced with a learning lesson, learn.  I learned again, no matter how nice I think I’m being, don’t lie, cheat or steal. 

So to teach myself a lesson, I gave him the tablet for the $97.00 he paid someone else. 

I should have listened to my original intention.  Give my friend the tablet. 

I believe that God, or the energy flow, knows when I’m trying to do my best.  I didn’t pay a steep price for having lied.  I just got a gentle reminder to keep trying harder.  I had a step backward.  I learned from it.  Even though my intentions were good, my lying was not.

I have learned something important in these learning lessons of mine.  Basically, life is three steps forward and two back.  When I do go back two steps, I learn what is there to learn and move forward.  Beating myself up only harms me and the lesson gets lost. 

I do my best to be honest, not lie, cheat or steal.  What I find is that when I try my very best, I keep in the flow or positive energy. 

There are many more things I had to learn to get in touch with God and what I call the energy flow.  I will write more in my next blogs.